Why do I always feel like this?

Yesterday was ‘Families Day’ on HMS Kent, Adam’s ship in the Navy.

The day gives the family of all the ships company (sadly apart from those working) the chance to come on board for the day, and get taken out to sea to see what they get up to. My mum,  Andy, his mum Karen, Sam and myself went.

We had a fly past of two fighter jets ‘attacking’ the ship, a helicopter came by and showed us some moves, there were tours of all the different areas of the ship – The Bridge (where they drive the ship), The ops room (radar/sonar where Adam works), The engine room, all the guns, flight deck and hanger, and more – mock fire fighting displays, and a chicken curry and rice or meatballs and pasta lunch.

You got to hang out with fellow seamen in the mess (where they sleep and live when not working), and see what life is like out at sea. It was a really good day. I really enjoyed myself. Maybe not enough to go down the Navy Careers office to sign up, but if they ever wanted a civvy to hang around on board for a week, I probably wouldn’t say no.

The problem I had, and often have when I really enjoy myself on a day or weekend out, is at night, when I lay in bed, remembering all fun of the day, and I get an overwhelming sense of depression and sadness that it’s over, and unlikely to happen again for a while (as demonstrated right now, as it’s just gone 9am, I’ve been awake for nearly 2 hours, home alone) and all I can do is sit around dwelling on the good day before, getting slowly more and more depressed that it’s not a daily occurrence.

Then I think, how long could I go having a day like yesterday, again and again daily, before it becomes tedious and boring? Then logically how ridiculously impossible it would be to do for than a few days in a row (Mum and Andy had a day annuals leave from work, and Adam said it cost in the region of £200,000 for the day, and even with all my free time now uni is over, it wouldn’t been the same going on my own)

I only had a small snapshot of what it’s like on board, and although I quite liked what I saw, I almost wish I could wake up tomorrow on board readily trained and with all those I met yesterday. As it happens, I would need to undergo nine weeks basic training, followed by another god knows how long being trained in my specialist area (Last night I looked at chef/catering, which was a 26 week course) before I’m ready for action, by which time half the people on HMS Kent may have moved on or changed and the dynamic of the ship could be completely different. And who’s to say I would be drafted to Kent, anyway? There are 87 commissioned ships in the Royal Navy right now.

I’m going to stop now and have breakfast, hopefully take my mind off my sadness…