*Names changed to protect identity.

Today I am going to try and analyse the following quote:

I always promise to let every insensitive thing you do go, but I give up. I don’t have to put up with you in 2 months so whether we talk for the rest of that time is not of importance to me. You were supposed to be meeting me tonight, yet you put my name last on your list. Every time we go out you are so obsessed with Inad* that you walk off. You only come up the snooker club to perve over Hsa*. I said you can meet me after work yesterday and you didn’t want to, but the second Inad* says something you jump to it. I give up on this one sided friendship.

Firstly, the back story:

Ylloh* and I were due to be going out, as usual, on Friday night to the pub. I receive a text in the morning of the night out, saying she is now working until 00.30, but we can still go out after. Half midnight a stupid time to start a night out, so I declined. Especially as I too were working until 10pm that night. As I walked home from work, I bumped into Inad* outside the pub. She asked if I was coming out, I said no, and explained the reasons why so listed above. She pestered me. Said I could hang with her and Eihpos*, until Ylloh* finished work. I agreed and went and got changed. 00.30 arrived and Yollh* appeared. I bought her a drink. We partied. Blah blah blah 3.45am I get into bed. Top night as always.

This morning, I decided, as my step-dad has always pointed out, I cannot handle two heavy alcohol-fuelled nights out in a row. As by Sunday (assuming the nights out are on a Friday and Sunday) I am feeling worse for wear and am not in the best of moods. To add to that, Saturday nights are nearly always a lot busier than Fridays, due to the majority not working on Sunday, whereas many may choose not to go out as they will be working on Saturday, which I for one do not enjoy. Queuing at a bar is bad enough on Friday nights. Saturday is just awful. Not to mention that the drink I buy is £2.05 on a Friday and £2.95 on Saturdays, and I cannot afford to go out two nights in a row.

Anyway, as Ylloh* and I had agreed not to go out Friday night, we decided Saturday night we would. But as I ended up going out on Friday, I decided against going out tonight. This is when I received the message above via Facebook Messenger.

I can understand how one may be annoyed that I have cancelled on her because I changed my plans. But I don’t have enough fingers on my hands to count the many times Ylloh* has cancelled or changed her plans on me, or even gone ahead without me. I also do not doubt for one second that she will stay in tonight because I am not there.

And to call our friendship one-sided is preposterous. Again, I do not have enough fingers on my hands to count the many times I have been there for her. But she can’t see that. All she sees is that this one time I let her down, it’s all my fault and all other times don’t matter.

I don’t want Ylloh* to leave (in two months, as stated above. She is going to uni in Brighton). I can honestly say I enjoy every single second I spend with her. But when I resume friendships with people I knew from way before I knew her and try and integrate the two friendships (which incidentally works well as they both know each other through their love of alcohol) she goes into defence mode and doesn’t like the situation.

I often wonder if she’s ever stopped to think about the impact her recently acquired boyfriend Evad* had on me. I certainly have. You can definitely link it to how she must have felt when I left Eastleigh and all of a sudden she was a best friend down and no one to go out with. So I know how she feels, and she should know how I feel. I used to be what Evad* is to her. Minus the Boyfriend/Girlfriend bit. They spend most nights out down a pub, here or there. That used to be me. I felt like I’ve been replaced. And I was just out of time, too, as I recently changed my hours meaning A, I would be in Eastleigh more and B, available for good times on Friday nights. But Evad* came into her life, and I had to make do with whatever time she had left, or be the third wheel.

Don’t get me wrong Evad* is a nice enough bloke. No issues with him whatsoever. He seems keen on her, and you can see it’s not unrequited. I’m happy for them.

But to quote Myssic* “Oh, I dunno…”. I honestly don’t understand how this one occasion spurred that outburst quoted above. I was, and still am literally lost for words (minus the 700 above).